What to Look for Before You Leap

In many points in a relationship, especially after the first big row, one or both partners may start wondering whether or not their relationship will work out. Going forward in a relationship successfully requires a lot of deep thought and focus. Many issues are considered before deciding whether or not to take a relationship to the next level.

Since it consumes most of your day, and your mind, your career is the most important topic to consider discussing with your partner. From there, you can move on to financial planning to understand how your partner views money matters. Another issue is your social life. You should be able to tell after sometime where your partner stands on the outgoing/shy scale, whether he/she is able to share outings and events with you and be able to mingle with your friends and/or colleagues. This also includes his/her views on how he/she should interact with your family, whether or not he/she wants a strong relationship with your parents and how you plan to avoid problems resulting from this kind of contact. If your relationship is getting serious, you might want to consider talking about having children. It brings up questions such as “When?”. “How many?”, “How to raise them?” and many more.

Another crucial point that is usually overlooked is how much time you two plan to spend together. After the time you both spend working and socializing, you may not have that much time to be with each other. Some people only need the occasional dinner date and don’t mind the busy life, while others are too passionate to accept the lack of romance. You should also discuss deal-breakers. First, identify them yourself then talk about them with your partner. Decide what is it that makes you quit no questions asked, then tell your partner about it openly and honestly. We all make mistakes, but it is important to know what both of you think is the last straw.

Although many clashes can arise between couples due to different points of view regarding the aforementioned matters, it can be summarized in the fact that a partner is not in favor of something that is considered a priority to the other. To minimize the chance of a conflict, you should set your own goals in life and give yourself time to think, maybe even long before you meet your partner, as it helps you get organized and make major life changes easy to handle. It also creates independence to choose your own hobbies and activities regardless of your partner’s opinion, without being self-centered or neglecting your partner’s needs. Even if your goals are not set yet, you should tell your partner that certain issues in your life are subject to change and make sure that this is acceptable to him/her. Never let your partner stop you and don’t try to stop him/her. Every one of us needs to feel free to make their own choices, and supported by his/her partner in life-changing decisions. Talk to your partner about your point of view concerning the issues in your lives and get to know his/hers and make sure that both of you are ready to be with each other and accept each other for who you are and how you live.

Yet, you might meet that special someone who makes you feel that being with him/her is worth the world. It makes it the most natural thing in the world to give up certain things just to make it work. In this case, you should be wise and weigh the advantages of the relationship and the good qualities of your partner against quitting what you want, then decide whether he/she is worthy of the sacrifice. Being realistic in your thoughts and expectations will lessen your troubles and keep you and your partner from having bigger and more complicated clashes in the future.